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Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Could City of Aurora Deploy Llamas, Donkeys and City Staff to Scare Off Coyotes?

If you haven't heard, a man was apparently bitten by a coyote on Aurora's west side.

Sources at City Hall say this has become a serious issue and they are exploring all possible actions to insure the safety of the public, including using "guards" to scare off the coyotes, such as llamas, donkeys and select city staff that have been known to be scary to the public.

So-called corporation counsel Alayne Weingartz, who has a reputation of being rude, unprofessional and creating disputes with the public, is under consideration, according to city spokesgirl Carie Anne Ergo.

"There are plenty of, uh...donkeys, at City Hall" said a high-ranking city official, so there's no shortage of them if needed.

Joe Groom of the Aurora Police Department is also being considered to help scare off coyotes since there's no clear understanding of what he in his job.

Several upper management of the Aurora Fire Department, with six-figure salaries, could also be deployed.

"Bottom line is that we have the coyotes outnumbered if necessary with lots of scary or big people who can scare them off..." Ergo said to a city hall source.


Anonymous said...

Why don't we just feed the homeless to the coyotes?

Anonymous said...

We could deploy Openline to scare off the coyotes. I doubt they like the smell of skunks.

Anonymous said...

We should buy swans. They can be fierce.

Anonymous said...

Just tell the Mexicans they taste like goat.

Anonymous said...

We should establish an offce of Coyote control. I'm sure as an assistant to the WHIZZ this would be good for at least $175,000 per year along with perks and retirement benefits. Of course they would need and assistant, a secratery, a truck, a car, and many gofers. Wow what an opportunity to show your administrative abilities.