Kristen, we hope you finally sobered up enough after being too drunk yet again while being AWOL as Queen of the APD, this time sucking wine in Key West, Florida, too busy to pay attention to Aurora's latest crime spree, shootings, vehicles being smashed, motorcycles being run over, cops being blocked, all without a single person being arrested.
So, now that it's officially okay to commit even more types of crime(s) in Aurora without consequence, let's invite motorcycle groups from all across America to chase you in the half-million dollar APD tank for a race through the streets of Aurora. We'll call it:
CHASING KRISTEN ZIMAN
The Race Begins at the Aurora Police Palace
*Proceeds to benefit tips ending Aurora corruption and sending Corrupt Kristen, Bozo the Mayor and their punk friends to prison.
It will be the closest thing to economic development the blighted, deteriorating City of Aurora has seen in ten years (please don't mention the failed Shodeen fiasco or the umpteen other failed schemes to Bozo the Mayor or he will need to drink yet another tall one).
Thousands of motorcycles.
And one corrupt clown cop named Kristen Ziman.
Maybe Chrissy Tunney, Bob Vaughan, Vicki Morcos and the rest of the thugs at the John C. Dunham Slush Fund to Advance Corruption can provide the prize money. Or you could provide it from your own household slush fund from dirty money paid to Tunney for you looking the other way on corruption. Oops, is that supposed to still be a secret?
If anyone dares to smash the side of the famous half-million dollar APD tank like we all saw happen to the pickup truck vs motorcycles, it will likely survive and since it isn't against the law anymore based upon the way you mishandled this latest fiasco, might as well go crazy and fully test the tank's walls in the one in a billion chance the tank would ever be needed for a legitimate situation (sorry Kristen, contrary to what you may believe, using the tank to go to Dunkin Donuts is not a legitimate purpose).
And no, we still aren't worried about you shooting anyone like so many other bad cops across the nation have done because you are too much of a coward to stick your head out into any real danger like any real cops. By the way, was it the 1990's when you were last on any actual patrol or when you were in high school and Daddy let you play cop in blatant violation of the law? We can't recall exactly but seems plenty of people know how you "qualified" to be a cop.
Welcome to the new Aurora Police Department under Kristen Ziman, where a corrupt clown is police chief based upon nepotism, narcissism, corruption and where crime is allowed to roam free so no more silly crime stats to worry about.
Crime is down when Aurora cops simply (and wimply) stand down. Let's just drink more wine, right?
With this new so-called policing strategy, former cop, turned crony, paying off politicians Michael "Big Belly" Nila can exploit more police departments and train them how to reduce crime stats even if crime is going up. It's magic.
It's officially okay in Aurora if people commit crimes like corruption or violence. We know you and Tunney say they are just "different" and "expressing themselves" even if it seems "weird" to anyone else.
All the usual shootings, murders and corruption were so boring under Bozo the Mayor and Ousted Chief Greg Thomas.
Thanks to you and corrupt sidekick Chrissy Tunney, with expanded types of crime and reduced policing, Aurora has cemented its perch in our state and nation as "second to none" for crime. Congrats Kristen, in a short time, you successfully made the APD a joke to the rest of law enforcement.
Note: for a couple hundred grand, maybe we can get a "sidecar" tank so Chrissy can ride next to you during the race. Aurora City Council will easily rubber stamp any irrational cost like they do for anything. Maybe the usual cronies like Cordogan Clark can design it, Wegman Construction can make it, Wally Mundy can make it look green and the corrupt thugs at the Dunham Slush Fund can give a small grant to pay for Chrissy to get training at a nearby go-kart track.